What a scumbag...

So, as I mentioned previously, I've been dipping into the world of online dating. I've met a few people who were really nice, but I just didn't have any chemistry with them, and have had a few good conversations, and some laughs at some particularly odd individuals, and even had a few prospects for people I was interested in knowing a little better. One in particular, I'll call K.

I had some great chats with K online, and then via text messaging. We laughed about some experiences with online dating, joked around in a slightly teasing/mocking but lighthearted way, had talks about what we were looking for, and he related that he was glad to hear that I was looking for something more serious, because so was he. We hung out a few times, he even slept over once, though I warned there would just be sleeping and a little cuddling involved because hey, I just met him.

Time went by, and it was difficult to spend time together, he told me about how he spent years living beyond his means, and now he's struggling to be more responsible with his money and dig his way out of debt. He lived quite a big distance away from me, and related that he couldn't afford the gas to drive that far if he didn't have other necessary things to do that would bring him closer my way. He'd come over when he could, but it wasn't very often.

One weekend, I had a 2 night gig with my band in his area of town, less than 1 km away from his apartment, so we made plans to spend the weekend together. He canceled on me, claiming he broke his windshield and was in a crappy mood and didn't want to take it out on me. Ok, understandable I guess, but breaking plans happens to be a pet peeve of mine. I let it go. Later on in the night, he said he was sorry for breaking plans, and was in a better mood, and said I could still come over if I'd like, but he has things to do the next day and would have to drop me off at home at some point. Oh, and could someone drop me off because he didn't want to pick me up, from a location that would take 2 minutes for him to drive to. I should've said no. I wanted to say no. I said yes. Stupid, stupid me. So, my bass player drops me off, and things seem alright, we watch a funny movie, the flirtatious teasing/mocking jokes fly and we wind up in bed. Oh, just thinking back, I could kick myself.

He had been drinking a bit and had some, er, ah, erectile troubles. Sticking with the theme of the evening, I made a joke about it, and he did NOT take it well. Rolling away from me entirely, saying "I can't believe you'd say that". I know, it's a sore point for guys, but I figured he got my sense of humor and knew I meant nothing by it. Obviously I know alcohol affects male performance in some cases, and it's no big deal. In any case, he seems to get over both what I said, and his... physical roadblock, and we wind up getting it on. Once he's done, he stays completely away from me at the other side of the bed, and starts alternating between giving me the silent treatment, and giving me hell for the "disrespectful and rude things I say"... despite the comments of the evening being completely even between the two of us! He starts saying things like "I shouldn't have girls over anyways" and "I need to be single", and then says he's taking me home, right then. At 6:00 AM! I tell him he has issues, and we get in the car, and he drives me home.

During the drive home, he's making comments like "oh, I have issues? I guess I just saved you the trouble wasting time to find that out, then" and "don't act like you've been used, it's not like you've never had sex before" and then finally just silence. He drops me off, and I log on Facebook to see he's deleted me! He couldn't even wait to drive home first. And where there was no relationship status posted before, one is now showing that he's in a relationship, and has been for over a year. So my theory is, all the times he "couldn't afford the gas" to see me where times he couldn't sneak away from the girlfriend, and a significant other definitely explains the rush to get me out of his apartment.

Why do people do this? Why be in a relationship if you want to sleep around? And even if you're going to cheat, why fool someone who is looking for more than just sex into sleeping with you, when there are plenty of people out there looking for no more than you are? Hook up with some cheating married chick, at least you're both on the same wavelength about where things are going. It's all so mind boggling.

Online dating sucks.

So, I made a profile on Plenty of Fish recently. I've been on the site before, once when I lived in a different city, and again when I moved back home. I've noticed that people on this site in my hometown are much more homely and desperate than the people dating online in the other city. I wonder why that is?

I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a reasonably attractive girl. While I'm not the most athletic person, I'm not fat either, I don't have acne or deformities or anything, and I know how to dress well. Besides that, I can hold a decent conversation, and I think I'm pretty entertaining to be around. I'm a catch! I have a healthy enough self esteem to feel like I can be picky, and don't need to settle on someone I'd consider less than desirable. I'm only on this website because I don't really meet too many people other than in bars, and those people are generally there to get wasted and bang strangers, and that's just not my thing.

That being said, I have some qualms with this site and the people on it, and there are some habits I keep noticing that I take issue with. For starters, the dishonesty. In your profile, it asks for your body type. Why put "average" when you're quite overweight? Put "a few extra pounds" if that represents your body type more accurately. And why post old photos of you before you gained that weight or lost your hair? The people you're trying to entice are going to meet you in person anyways, they're going to find out you're bald and fat eventually, so what's the point in wasting your time and theirs? You're far more likely to find someone who will like you for you if you're honest about yourself from the start. These people are almost always the type to call you shallow if you call them out on this once you find out what they really look like. "Don't judge a book by its cover" they say... even when it becomes apparent that they didn't read my profile, in which case, if they messaged me based on my pictures, who are they to call anyone shallow??
(Sidenote: always make a habit of adding someone to Facebook before meeting them in person, that way you can see pics people have tagged them in, which is more accurate because they're recent and not just the most flattering ones.)

That brings me to my next complaint: Not reading my profile before messaging me!  I put a lot of effort into writing a profile that reflects my personality, and explains who I am, what I'm looking for, and the type of person I look for, but I consistently get messages saying little or nothing more than "hey, what's up?" from people I clearly wouldn't want to hear from, such as guys just looking to score, guys not looking for commitment, guys who never want children, or chubby guys. I even mention in my profile that I'm into skinny guys, but i'll still get fat guys or body builders anyways.

Some people actually do read the profile but ignore the parts that would tell them I wouldn't be interested in them. I know this because in their message, they'll reference something they read in the profile, and might even mention "i know you said you like skinny guys, but" or "i'm only in town for the weekend, but". Why waste my time? Are you so egotistical that you think you'll be the exception? That your personality and wit are so amazing that I'll fall for you despite never wanting to see you naked? How would that even work? I mean really, I know *I'm* not going to be everyone's cup of tea, so when I'm reading a profile and they say they like extremely active girls, or they are ridiculously outdoorsy, I don't message them! Because I know I'm not their type! Why can't other people do this?

The repeat messagers. If I don't want to talk to or meet with a person, I don't reply to their messages. I don't know them, I don't owe them an explanation, plus why would I want to spend my time on this site putting effort into how I reject people? That's not what I'm on the site for! Unfortunately most of these people can't take a hint. Usually after the 4th time they've copied and pasted the same line to me, I'll tell him sorry, not into you, and they almost always get angry. Oooh, I'm sorry you went through all that effort of hitting Ctrl+V and I couldn't be bothered to write a sonnet about how terribly awful it is for me to not be able to see past your man boobs and pedo stache to dig deep - real deep - and find some sort of redeeming quality that would allow me to do you in your mother's basement. Get real.

Where oh where is my 6'3" lean but toned  genius hunk, with the biting sarcastic humor, who mocks everything along side of me but reserves his sweet and affectionate side for me? Probably not on a dating site. haha

Competition

When I started at my job, we were an awesome team, everyone helped each other, it was great. If we had 2 servers on a weeknight which isn't that busy, we'd take turns taking tables instead of working sections, because in a bar that doesn't hire hostesses, there's areas of the bar that will always be full and others will always be empty, so it was fair that way.

Then they implemented sections. So it was possible that one server could be running their ass off and raking in tips while another was twiddling their thumbs and making nothing. But we still had that team mentality, and most of the time we would give away tables if the other was idle, again, in the interest of fairness.

Then they started ranking us based on sales per hour, basing the schedule on it, etc. Which is flawed because if your sales are poor and you get shitty shifts, there's no way to sell more and jump the ranks, you're basically stuck.

And it destroys the team aspect of things, I can't give away tables, I'd be giving my competitor sales!

Tonight, my sections were full and kept full. The other server's werent. She kept asking if i needed help, if i wanted her to take a table, and i said no. I just kept taking as many as i could until i could handle no more. i think i gave her one table. So because I keep not giving her tables, she's not gonna help me run food or bus/clean, because that would make me able to take more tables and less likely to give her any. Further damaging a team energy and feeding a competetive, me first attitude.

My sales were $950. I doubt she sold more than $400. Does that mean I'm twice as good of a server as her?
No. It means I'm putting myself first at all times and it's management's fault for creating an environment where I need to do this.

Shit my roomate says

My roomie often drops some serious gems especially since he's become a bit of a stoner lately, and most of my facebook statuses end up being quotes of him, so I figured maybe I should post them here instead. Some of them are typical stoner things, silly things, or offensive things he says to get a rise out of his girlfriend.

While watching the news tonight, a story about a 14 year old girl who killed herself flashes by.
His girlfriend: "Why did she kill herself?"
My roomate: "Because she was too hot"

Comment Card Madness

My work has comment cards that we pass out at the end of each customers' visit. Management and the owner are pushing these heavily, on both ends. They advertize that by filling out the card, the customer is entered into a draw for $50, draws held monthly. They also keep track of how many cards each server gets filled out during each shift. All though they do pay attention to the comments, and have made changes to the menu as a result of them in the past, the main intent is to collect e-mail addresses. They send out waaaay too many e-mails about events and specials, which most people find irritating. But I suppose if they get even a few people to return, it's worth it in their eyes.

In any case, hardly anyone takes these cards seriously. Most cards just say "shorter skirts", "bigger boobs", and "free drinks". Some get pretty hilarious though. A whole table filled their cards with sexual comments about a male manager, asking if the bulge in his pants is a sock shoved down there, calling him "dreamy" and asking what he's doing later. We all had quite the laugh. I get a few cards saying I should be cloned, which is always nice, and I even had a lovely date the other night with a guy who left his number and a note to give him a call!

May I Speak To Your Manager?

I told off my first customer at the new job the other week. I immediately regretted it and imagined I might get into some trouble, which would be unfortunate because I absolutely love my new job.

A table of people with accents walk in... Russian or German, I'm not sure. 2 of them can barely speak english, but know enough to ask if we have anything on special, so I figure I'm not going to make anything off of them. Not a problem since everyone else is treating me well. One of the women with a better grasp of English asks to see a cocktail menu, which is odd in a tavern... also, other than listing what beers we have on draft, the menu just lists prices, and doesn't have an extensive list of every cocktail the bartender knows how to make. So I bring it out, and she says "This doesnt help me. Bring me something fruity. With strawberry". I tell her we have nothing strawberry flavored, and she just says "just fruity then" and waves me away. I bring her a purple haze, and she takes a sip and says she doesnt like it, and says "bring me something else"... I tell her I can't just keep bringing her some random drinks just to have her dislike all of them. She says "maybe if you did a BETTER JOB of picking drinks..." so i say "maybe if you just knew what you wanted..." and she asks to see a manager.

Immediately I have images of being fired going through my head. I swallow my pride, and I go tell S what has happened and have him go speak to them. He makes her a malibu and pineapple, brings it over and tells her "here, try this, and if you don't like it, maybe you should choose your drinks yourself" and walks away.


Did I mention I love my job? :D

Oh, and later her husband comes up to me, pays and tips well, and says "I'm sorry about my wife. She's a bit of a bitch sometimes."

New Job!

So, I finally have another service job, serving at a pub in a rich area of town that I usually never go near. Had my first shift last week, and ended up working in coat check during their busiest night of the week. I've never worked coat check before, but it didn't require any training, and they wanted to give me work instead of having to wait for someone to have time to train me on serving. It was interesting... lots of people walking in with no coat, taking the freezing cold walk from their car to the bar just to avoid paying a dollar to check their coat. So silly. And people walking away without taking their ticket, or losing their ticket and expecting me to give them their coat anyways as long as they can describe it. Doesn't work that way! I told one girl, how would she like it if some girl came in after her, saw her coat and really liked it, and came back later and said she lost her ticket and just described your jacket to me and I gave it to her? She probably wouldn't like that too much! I don't know why people can't just wait til the end of the night and take their coat when it's the last one there, especially since they're only trying to leave 30 min before close anyways. Too silly.

I had my first shift actually serving last night. I was just supposed to read the hand book and menu, maybe take a menu test, but while I was reading, my manager (Let's call him "S") said "hey, why dont you just take that new table?" H (other server) will help you out if you need"... so I did. It was the same POS system as another job I've had, so it was easy to jump right into it. It was a slow night, so I only got 3 tables, but all of them were hilarious, having a fun time, and tipped well over 20%. And they're all regulars, so I'll be seeing them again. I think I'm going to love this job.

My second table filled out our comment cards, and they were a hilarious read. They said things like "I wonder if S stuffs a sock down his pants" and "the girls should go topless"... too funny!