So, as I mentioned previously, I've been dipping into the world of online dating. I've met a few people who were really nice, but I just didn't have any chemistry with them, and have had a few good conversations, and some laughs at some particularly odd individuals, and even had a few prospects for people I was interested in knowing a little better. One in particular, I'll call K.
I had some great chats with K online, and then via text messaging. We laughed about some experiences with online dating, joked around in a slightly teasing/mocking but lighthearted way, had talks about what we were looking for, and he related that he was glad to hear that I was looking for something more serious, because so was he. We hung out a few times, he even slept over once, though I warned there would just be sleeping and a little cuddling involved because hey, I just met him.
Time went by, and it was difficult to spend time together, he told me about how he spent years living beyond his means, and now he's struggling to be more responsible with his money and dig his way out of debt. He lived quite a big distance away from me, and related that he couldn't afford the gas to drive that far if he didn't have other necessary things to do that would bring him closer my way. He'd come over when he could, but it wasn't very often.
One weekend, I had a 2 night gig with my band in his area of town, less than 1 km away from his apartment, so we made plans to spend the weekend together. He canceled on me, claiming he broke his windshield and was in a crappy mood and didn't want to take it out on me. Ok, understandable I guess, but breaking plans happens to be a pet peeve of mine. I let it go. Later on in the night, he said he was sorry for breaking plans, and was in a better mood, and said I could still come over if I'd like, but he has things to do the next day and would have to drop me off at home at some point. Oh, and could someone drop me off because he didn't want to pick me up, from a location that would take 2 minutes for him to drive to. I should've said no. I wanted to say no. I said yes. Stupid, stupid me. So, my bass player drops me off, and things seem alright, we watch a funny movie, the flirtatious teasing/mocking jokes fly and we wind up in bed. Oh, just thinking back, I could kick myself.
He had been drinking a bit and had some, er, ah, erectile troubles. Sticking with the theme of the evening, I made a joke about it, and he did NOT take it well. Rolling away from me entirely, saying "I can't believe you'd say that". I know, it's a sore point for guys, but I figured he got my sense of humor and knew I meant nothing by it. Obviously I know alcohol affects male performance in some cases, and it's no big deal. In any case, he seems to get over both what I said, and his... physical roadblock, and we wind up getting it on. Once he's done, he stays completely away from me at the other side of the bed, and starts alternating between giving me the silent treatment, and giving me hell for the "disrespectful and rude things I say"... despite the comments of the evening being completely even between the two of us! He starts saying things like "I shouldn't have girls over anyways" and "I need to be single", and then says he's taking me home, right then. At 6:00 AM! I tell him he has issues, and we get in the car, and he drives me home.
During the drive home, he's making comments like "oh, I have issues? I guess I just saved you the trouble wasting time to find that out, then" and "don't act like you've been used, it's not like you've never had sex before" and then finally just silence. He drops me off, and I log on Facebook to see he's deleted me! He couldn't even wait to drive home first. And where there was no relationship status posted before, one is now showing that he's in a relationship, and has been for over a year. So my theory is, all the times he "couldn't afford the gas" to see me where times he couldn't sneak away from the girlfriend, and a significant other definitely explains the rush to get me out of his apartment.
Why do people do this? Why be in a relationship if you want to sleep around? And even if you're going to cheat, why fool someone who is looking for more than just sex into sleeping with you, when there are plenty of people out there looking for no more than you are? Hook up with some cheating married chick, at least you're both on the same wavelength about where things are going. It's all so mind boggling.