Friday, August 6, 2010

Douchebaggery in the Dating World

Is there someone in your life that for one reason or another, you always feel down, or lesser after speaking to them? Who always need to remind you of past mistakes, or even decide what was a mistake and continue to make you feel guilty over it? Do conversations with a friend of yours make you feel guilty without actually feeling you've done anything wrong? I have something groundbreaking to tell you:


These so-called friends feel inadequate in their own lives and instead of wallowing in their own failures, they obsess over yours. They bring up your faults, your past mistakes, and seem to have overactive morals, but only in terms of judging you or others, and never in terms of restricting their own actions... and they do this on a regular basis. By always putting you down, they don't have to pay any attention to their own shortcomings. So here's what I've learned, and I hope you'll take them to heart.

Your past mistakes don't have to follow you. If you cheated on a past spouse, did too many drugs, had a child out of wedlock or an abortion, have been to jail or arrested, whatever your past mistakes have been, they DO NOT have to have ANY influence on your present opportunities (well, except employment due to laws I suppose) and they do NOT have to lessen your current happiness. You've made your mistakes, you dealt with the consequences at the time (ie: loss of spouse, health, money, freedom for a period of time) and now you are done with it. You have moved on, and the rest of the people in your life will have to as well, or they can stop associating with you if they are unable to do so. They DO NOT have the right to constantly bring it up or make you perpetually feel bad about it. Remorse is not meant to follow you for the rest of your days. Once again, you deserve to be happy.

You have a right to take other people's words at face value. "I don't want to be in a relationship", "It takes time for me to trust people" or "My kids come first" MEAN JUST THAT. If the person saying these things only say them for the impression they leave or as some move in their sick game of mental chess, that's their damage. You are not to blame if you didn't read into it to realize "I don't want to be in a relationship" really meant "i want to sleep around, but don't you dare do the same", "it takes time for me to trust people" really meant "wait around for me while i sow my wild oats" and "my kids come first" really meant "i will use my kids as an excuse to not see you whenever you bore me". You don't have to play their games, you don't have to whip out your "insane to sane dictionary" to try to figure out what they REALLY meant. If you take their words at face value and react as such and they don't like the outcome, that's THEIR problem, not yours!

On that note, if you don't find the hidden meaning of what they say, and you somehow act against what they were trying to accomplish by saying this, and you still don't consider yourself in the wrong, don't cave and give them a fake apology. It's won't shut them up like you're hoping, it'll just give them free liscence to try and make you feel guilty about it again and again. Like a rabid dog, they will never drop it. So drop them.

You are not a bad person for not wanting to have someone in your life who brings you down. You can't change them. You will never be the help they need. They need therapy and quite possibly medication, and your poon and/or wang will never be a suitable substitution. Do not feel guilty for cutting them loose. Do not cave because you pity them. Just take a break, and you'll soon realize you don't care anymore. It's not heartless, it's self-preservation.

Critical Mass

Fucking christ, I hate those protesting hippies.

In case you dont know what Critical Mass is, it's a stupid protest that happened twice already this summer, in which a bunch of hippies ride their bikes through downtown during rush hour, obeying no traffic laws, and making a huge mess, and then crying like a bunch of whiney little bitches when they get arrested or their asses kicked.

First of all, they're doing shit all to get a point across. What is their agenda? I heard that they're biking to protest over use of cars or something. But they had no signs, and I saw only 1 guy handing out leaflets about it.

Basically, they're hurting their own cause just by doing this! This isnt proving that biking is a better alternative to driving a car at all, it's just proving that if everyone rode bikes instead of driving cars, there would be complete havoc downtown all the time. I hope that next time they do this, a couple of them get hit by cars. If they're going to ride their bikes, they have to follow traffic laws. No crossing at red lights, and stay in lanes like a car (no driving between cars at stop lights). If one of them crossed at a red light, and I was driving through the intersection at the green light, I would just speed up and hit them. And they would be at fault for crossing illegally, so they couldnt do shit about it! Teach those little shits a lesson.

Semi-Religious Rant

This isnt what you're expecting, believe me. I'm not gonna go on a rant about Christianity, actually, I think that's getting old hat.

What is with the human race and their constant forcing their beliefs on everyone? During my younger days, probably right around age 14 or 15, I used to hate Christians and their consistent forcing their religion down peoples throats, and thought that Atheists were pretty cool by contrast. Now I have a bone to pick with both. Forcing non belief is just as irritating as forcing beliefs.

I'm not so all up ons the idea of bitching about Christianity anymore. That lost its appeal right around my 15th birthday. It's not Christianity I hate, it's Christians who think their lives purpose is to convert everyone. And that's not just Christians, that's the entire human race. Now, I'm no Christian, but I definitely come from a religious family. My mom's side of the family are all Roman Catholics, and my father's family is Mennonite. I was baptized, confirmed, and I attended Sunday school/Youth group until I was 14. I dont agree with the bible, and I dont agree that not believing in the bible is going to grant me some big horrible punishment once my body is used up. That being said, I have a great respect for both religions I came from. Being Catholic is linked to being Italian, and I'm very proud of my Italian background. It's a part of my culture, and I can never completely turn my back on it. As for Mennonites, they went through so much persecution for centuries just to be able to maintain their religion and culture, and how can you NOT have respect for that?

I'm so sick of people trying to be "cool" or "different" by either abondoning religion, or taking up a "darker" alternative religion like Satanism... or hey, you like pissing your parents off, but you love your kitty too much to sacrifice it, take up Goth Lite... aka Wiccanism! So many things wrong with all this. I actually think Wicca is a neat concept, and I know a few people who truly believe in it, and take the whole "harm none" thing seriously... but when you see a catty goth chick fondling her pentagram while glaring at every other female in the room, you cant help but laugh. If I see a pentagram worn in combination with excessive fish nets, my eyes will roll on their own volition, and I'm sorry, but I really have no control over this. What part of "harm none" includes gossip, jealousy, and malicious back-stabbing? Also, Satanism is retarded. It's a phony religion! It was made up by some loser who was just doing all that "mysteriously evil" crap to try and get some goth spooky-twat. If you believe Christianity is bullshit, then you cant believe Satan exists, because Satan is a Christian concept, you idiots! You werent even creative enough to make up your own evil entity!

I'm so sick and tired of being told what to think. It's like everyone's out to educate me. I dont mind having a simple conversation, but being told "no, this is what I think, I'm right, and what you think is wrong" is just plain stupid, and completely invalidates the entire concept of a conversation. People, if you're so set in your ways that you wont even consider my opinion a valid possibility, please refrain from bringing the topic up. If you want someone to look at you blankly and never refute what you say, get a dog.

10 Things I Hate About You (and You, and You...)

You know what really grinds my gears? You, America!

haha yeah I kid, Im more original than that :P

Anywho, I thought I'd make a list simply because I woke up way the fuck too early today and I am bored.

1: Eating at a Chinese restaurant, and then learning AFTER I've eaten a tofu based dish that there was oyster sauce in the sauce it was in. Why the fuck would I be eating tofu if I wasn't a vegetarian? Maybe I just prefer to eat gelatinous goop over meat? Come on!

2: People with a competitive nature. I hate it when I'm just doing my own thing, and it happens to be similar to what someone else does, so that someone else feels it's their life goal to prove that they're better than me at it. A: you're not, and B: why should it matter? Just be happy with what you're doing, don't use my experiences as a measuring stick for your success, because it's like apples and oranges, it doesn't really compare!

3: Venues with shitty monitors. It's so annoying having to choose between either not hearing myself at all unless I strain super hard to be as loud as I can be, or having to find some spot where it doesn't feedback, and stand stock still in that spot.

4: Pity whores who tell their sob stories to whoever they can corner and force their tale on. It must suck to have to get friends by making everyone feel sorry for you, rather than having friends who keep you around because you add to their lives.

5: Scenesters who base their life around what happened at the last show or afterparty. Grow the fuck up and get a life.

6: The homeless. I dont feel sorry for you at all, you're the way you are because you chose drugs or sniffing solvents over working for a living. I will not pitch in for your next bottle of paint thinner, and I will not donate to soup kitchens so you can spend whatever you make panhanding on a king can instead of food either. Social Assistance was intended to help you get back on your feet, not to live off of it forever, so if you choose to gamble away your welfare check or spend it on drugs, don't cry to me when you're hungry. I worked for my money (you know, at a JOB, maybe you've heard of such a thing?) and a portion of it already goes to you from my taxes, you're not getting a penny more.

7: People who call me a shit disturber. All I do is recap the truth when the truth is something that affects me personally, and directly. If you dont like it, you are in complete control of what that truth may be. I cant repeat it if you just dont do/say these things to me/about me in the first place, so it is no one's fault but your own. Grow up and accept blame when the blame is rightfully on you.

8: Pro Ana websites. Anorexia is a disease, not a lifestyle choice, it does not deserve support, it deserves prevention and help to get over it. The first time I ever saw one of those "thinsperation" pages, I almost vomited. Why would you want to look like a skeleton anyways? Do you think guys get hard over those skeletons hanging in the corner of their biology classrooms? You need help, but you want to justify your addiction to weight loss by enlisting other sick individuals to help it seem more normal. Just because this disease is rampant doesnt mean it is normal. Eat a fucking sandwich.

9: Parents who cant control their children in public, or take their noise-prone children to public places and ruin it for everyone else. If you know your kid is going through a tantrum phase, dont bring it to a restaurant or movie theatre. I know it sucks to have to stay home all the time, but dont be a selfish cow and make everyone else in a restaurant's life misearble by letting your kid scream and cry about not being allowed soft drinks. It's not my fault you couldnt keep your legs closed, YOU live with the consequences, dont make ME suffer too.

10: Feminazis who make real feminists look bad. Dont bitch if a guy opens a door for you or pulls out a chair for you. He is not undermining you, he is not saying you are unable to because women are feeble, he's showing you courtesy out of respect and care for you. We are not at war anymore. We have the vote, we're welcome in the workplace, we're not walking baby factories or servants without pay, and that's good enough for me.

Old People: What Is Your Problem?

Like most people my age, I really hate old people. Habitually busing home hungover in the morning/afternoon from friend's couches lead to being on buses full of disgusting old people. There was a lady who had one long nail that she was using to pick her teeth with and then she'd suck it clean, quite loudly. There was an old man who had his tongue hanging out the whole time trying to taste his chin, and the whole bus smelled of feces.

Less obvious forms of displayed dementia include rude, cantankerous old fuckers who think that simply surviving this long has given them some sort of over-entitled status. Doors must be held open despite full motor abilities and/or a mechanical "handicapped" door opening button. Seats vacated for them despite other seats being readily available in designated priority seating areas. Or in the bar I work at, service given to them before younger, more  generous tippers. NO THANKS! You think giving me a quarter after ordering a round for your old cronies is doing me a favor, you classless, ignorant fucks. That 25 year old next to you who leaves me at least a buck per drink is getting served first, and I don't care if you've been standing there longer!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Gender Stereotypes, I Question Your Origins

Sometimes I wonder how gender stereotypes came to be. The more I interact with people, the more I see traits normally assumed to be dominant in one gender being a part of another. The trait I'm going to delve into in this blog is the emotional impact of relationships gone wrong, and how they affect or even in some cases prevent future relationships. This is commonly referred to as having "baggage".

We are taught, through tv shows and movies, that women are emotional, and allow the past to scar them, and often project insecurities that were cultivated during bad relationships onto current or prospective relationships, while men are supposed to allow everything to roll off of them like beads of water, and be the more logical and less emotional party when it comes to current/prospective relationships. Women are also perceived as weak, while men are supposed to be strong and brave.

Yet I find that every man-whore or commitment-phobic male has a story of a girl who fucked him over. I find that women also have horror stories, yet they dont let it hold them back from getting into new relationships after the fact. They seem to either learn from it and adjust their standards accordingly, or just jump back into dating, blindly (and possibly bravely) hoping for the best.

How is it that the old stereotypes still exist, and affect our current perception of gender roles, when actual examples of such stereotypes are the minority? Please feel free to comment with your thoughts.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Couples Feeding Each Other: Is It Still Romance If There's Bullshit at the End of Your Forks?

Love can blind, but hey, so can syphilis.
It's a heavy word (love, not syphilis). Smart people tend to put immense amounts of thought behind the sentiment before telling their sweetheart how serious their feelings are for them. Complete dumbasses seem to spew the word forth at every opportunity, without any grasp on what the word means.
Loving someone is placing them high on your list of priorities. It's actually giving a shit about how your decisions affect someone. It's about wanting to make them happy or contributing to their lives.
Loving someone isn't doing whatever the hell you want and only being sorry that there were consequences. It isn't settling on someone because you don't want to be alone, need to get laid, and don't think you can do any better than your current prospects.
If you've told more than one partner in a span of a few months that you love them, you probably have less of a grasp on what the word means than Alanis Morissette has on irony.

Why blog?

Previously, when something irked me, I would get the undeniable urge to rant about it in writing. I would do so in my "notes" section on Facebook, which would have undesirable repercussions. As vague as I would try to be, the protagonist who's actions irked me in the first place would usually figure it out and try to cause me or my reputation harm, or other actual friends might be guilty of the things I ridicule and take offense. So, I figured I'd let off some steam elsewhere, and let strangers be offended instead of friends... or maybe amused, even. Or these rants can sit here unread, but at least typing them out would give me some sort of satisfaction, if only by getting words and phrases out of my head and onto a screen.

These rants won't be of a continuing theme, though as I work in a bar, I'm sure a lot of what I have to say will be about shitty customers. I hope not to become one of many service industry blogs, simply because there are so many out there, and I doubt I have anything to say on the topic that hasn't been said yet (hurr, non-tippers suck). But yeah. If that's what's on my mind after working 5 nights a week, can you blame me?

I'll copy and paste some old rantings from more private journals to get the ball rolling while I formulate my opinions on more recent piss-offs, so if anyone stumbles upon this blog, there will be content waiting for them.

Here goes nothing. Enjoy!