Friday, August 6, 2010

10 Things I Hate About You (and You, and You...)

You know what really grinds my gears? You, America!

haha yeah I kid, Im more original than that :P

Anywho, I thought I'd make a list simply because I woke up way the fuck too early today and I am bored.

1: Eating at a Chinese restaurant, and then learning AFTER I've eaten a tofu based dish that there was oyster sauce in the sauce it was in. Why the fuck would I be eating tofu if I wasn't a vegetarian? Maybe I just prefer to eat gelatinous goop over meat? Come on!

2: People with a competitive nature. I hate it when I'm just doing my own thing, and it happens to be similar to what someone else does, so that someone else feels it's their life goal to prove that they're better than me at it. A: you're not, and B: why should it matter? Just be happy with what you're doing, don't use my experiences as a measuring stick for your success, because it's like apples and oranges, it doesn't really compare!

3: Venues with shitty monitors. It's so annoying having to choose between either not hearing myself at all unless I strain super hard to be as loud as I can be, or having to find some spot where it doesn't feedback, and stand stock still in that spot.

4: Pity whores who tell their sob stories to whoever they can corner and force their tale on. It must suck to have to get friends by making everyone feel sorry for you, rather than having friends who keep you around because you add to their lives.

5: Scenesters who base their life around what happened at the last show or afterparty. Grow the fuck up and get a life.

6: The homeless. I dont feel sorry for you at all, you're the way you are because you chose drugs or sniffing solvents over working for a living. I will not pitch in for your next bottle of paint thinner, and I will not donate to soup kitchens so you can spend whatever you make panhanding on a king can instead of food either. Social Assistance was intended to help you get back on your feet, not to live off of it forever, so if you choose to gamble away your welfare check or spend it on drugs, don't cry to me when you're hungry. I worked for my money (you know, at a JOB, maybe you've heard of such a thing?) and a portion of it already goes to you from my taxes, you're not getting a penny more.

7: People who call me a shit disturber. All I do is recap the truth when the truth is something that affects me personally, and directly. If you dont like it, you are in complete control of what that truth may be. I cant repeat it if you just dont do/say these things to me/about me in the first place, so it is no one's fault but your own. Grow up and accept blame when the blame is rightfully on you.

8: Pro Ana websites. Anorexia is a disease, not a lifestyle choice, it does not deserve support, it deserves prevention and help to get over it. The first time I ever saw one of those "thinsperation" pages, I almost vomited. Why would you want to look like a skeleton anyways? Do you think guys get hard over those skeletons hanging in the corner of their biology classrooms? You need help, but you want to justify your addiction to weight loss by enlisting other sick individuals to help it seem more normal. Just because this disease is rampant doesnt mean it is normal. Eat a fucking sandwich.

9: Parents who cant control their children in public, or take their noise-prone children to public places and ruin it for everyone else. If you know your kid is going through a tantrum phase, dont bring it to a restaurant or movie theatre. I know it sucks to have to stay home all the time, but dont be a selfish cow and make everyone else in a restaurant's life misearble by letting your kid scream and cry about not being allowed soft drinks. It's not my fault you couldnt keep your legs closed, YOU live with the consequences, dont make ME suffer too.

10: Feminazis who make real feminists look bad. Dont bitch if a guy opens a door for you or pulls out a chair for you. He is not undermining you, he is not saying you are unable to because women are feeble, he's showing you courtesy out of respect and care for you. We are not at war anymore. We have the vote, we're welcome in the workplace, we're not walking baby factories or servants without pay, and that's good enough for me.


  1. Um, you may have figured out I am American. Is that okay?

    And number 9 and 10 especially. I have 5 kids. [Stop rolling your eyes. . .they're all grown, but one now] And having worked in restaurants all through high school and college my number 1 pet peeve was sh*tty kids. Well, actually their parents are the sh*ts for not controlling them. When we took the kids out when they were younger we had one rule - Act out and their is a bathroom with your name on it. Meaning, not one of them wanted to take the death march to the bathroom with Mom or Dad because, well. . .you just didn't want to do it. I don't know why people feel so entitled to allow their offspring to bother other paying clientele. It's ridiculous. I give a good "evil eye" but I have also been know to say something snarky. My kids behave, why can't yours? And that isn't a "I'm a better Mom than you." But I can control my kids. They aren't brats.

    And #10 - YES! I love that my husband treats me with respect. His parents raised him well. I see how my FIL treats my MIL, and it is so loving. Their actions aren't holding either of us back, believe me. Well you know. I just love the way you said it. Bravo.

    1. That should say "there" not "their". I don't want to make it onto your next top 10 list, seeing that as an Amecian I am almost on this one. ::grin::